“There are many things in life that we perceive, consciously or unconsciously, as a threat. This creates conflict, as it invokes the fight-or-flight response. In times of conflict, we naturally establish a negative bonding pattern with the person who initiates threatening behavior towards us; a bonding pattern between our vulnerability, which is the part of us that can be open and therefore hurt, and the other person’s “power,” as defined by their behavior. The important aspect of the process, at the psychological level, is that when we feel threatened, the natural thing for us to do is to identify ourselves with (or become) the part or parts of us that we learned to protect ourselves with when we were young, and then react accordingly to the present situation.”
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